What If Pests Were On “The Bachelorette?”

What If Pests Were On “The Bachelorette?”

Summary: The Bachelorette is one of the most popular reality shows, and it’s fun to imagine what it would be like to see common pests on their own version of this competition. This blog depicts a fictional world where pests participate in a pest-centric version of the show. The imaginary Bachelorette is the Queen Ant, and her qualifications are listed as well as her personality traits. Then, it touches upon the factual mating habits of the 5 male pest contestants (cricket, roach, centipede, earwig, and carpenter bee) before it describes what each pest’s personality would be on the fictional version of the show. Pointe Pest Control is promoted as the most thorough service for your pest control needs.

Summer just got a lot more entertaining for fans of reality TV. The new season of The Bachelorette is in full swing, and there’s already so much to talk about regarding the male contestants of season 21 (no spoilers here!). But the return of this highly-watched show leads us to wonder: what if some of our most common pests were on their own version of The Bachelorette?

There would definitely be some personality clashes and interesting dates, but it’s fun to wonder about the specifics of their imaginary season. Let’s explore the fictional world where pests compete for love on their own version of the show to see how each would fare, as well as the actual mating processes of real pests.

The Bachelorette — Queen Ant

Real Life Mating Process: The queen ant is responsible for producing all of the ants in her colony. Once they’re adults, the few male drones and new queens fly away from their home to disperse in their local ecosystem. The queens each mate once with a male drone from another colony, then find a place to lay their eggs and start their very own colony.

We think a queen ant would make an amazing Bachelorette! They look for their one true love (or mate), they like to travel (to find said mate), and they value dedication (from the whole colony). No matter the species, a queen ant would be excited at the idea of finding her person — or, well, her pest — on this show. She would enjoy going on all of the adventurous dates to learn about each of the contestants. Some would feel right out of a fairytale, while others would just make for good TV.

We don’t have a projected winner of this fictional season, so you can choose the pest that you think would be the queen ant’s pick! Let’s see who you (and she) have to choose from…

Contestant 1 — Cricket

Real Life Mating Process: Male crickets create their famous songs by either rubbing their front wings together or rubbing their hind legs on their wings. Nearby female crickets listen and choose the song they like, as the volume and speed of the song varies with each cricket. For instance, a larger cricket makes a lower-pitched song.

If we had to choose the most outgoing and charismatic contestant out of this bunch, it would have to be the cricket. A cricket on The Bachelorette would be the “personality” of the group, giving the audience a slew of iconic phrases every week. Real crickets are nocturnal and drawn to any light they find at night, so a cricket on the show would likewise be drawn to the bright personality of the queen ant. Crickets live in various environments, but they are also known to run away, rather than fight, when they’re threatened. So a cricket might not be the most determined contestant, but they would definitely provide us with entertainment during their time!

Contestant 2 — Roach

Real Life Mating Process: When female roaches are ready to mate, they raise their wings and release pheromones to draw the attention of male roaches. The males that respond will flap their wings to show interest, then give up their sperm. If a female roach doesn’t find a mate, she can reproduce asexually.

Cockroaches are some of the most vile creatures in real life, but on a fictional version of The Bachelorette? They might be quite the catch! Actual roaches prefer humid and dark environments so they can stay hidden while they forage for new food sources. The roach might not win any popularity votes on the show, despite their quest to be the ideal partner to the queen ant. Roaches don’t want anything to do with us, but they are usually found in large groups since they reproduce so often. The roach would love the large group dates, even though this exact preference would likely lead to an early elimination.

Contestant 3 — Centipede

Real Life Mating Process: In a warm space, the female centipede releases pheromones that alert male centipedes to her presence. The responsive male creates a spermatophore, a silky formation made of sperm. The male either performs a courtship dance with the spermatophore or leaves it for the female to use.

Real centipedes look like alien parasites from a science fiction movie, but they might be great contestants! They either have no eyes or compound eyes that can see all angles, depending on the species. Personality and values would mean more than looks to the single centipede. Since it’s a more introverted critter, it would prefer the one-on-one dates where he feels ready to connect on an emotional level. Actual centipedes also need to be in a constantly moist environment since their exoskeletons lack a waxy coating that locks in moisture. The centipede better hope that the queen ant wants to live in a humid or rainy environment with her new partner!

Contestant 4 — Earwig

Real Life Mating Process: Male and female earwigs both have pincers (cerci), but only males use them to compete with each other. The winning male uses his curved cerci to hold onto the female earwig while they mate in the autumn. They don’t like to reproduce indoors. Fun fact: earwigs stay with the same mate for the rest of their lives!

Real earwigs are independent pests that are mostly active at night, so fictional earwigs would probably be fans of the nighttime cocktail hours on the show. They would be wallflowers that don’t like interacting with the other contestants any more than they have to, but the queen ant might like this independence. Earwigs are nuisance pests that mostly invade in the summer and eat other insects or vegetation, depending on what’s available. This unsuspecting demeanor would make the earwig an interesting contestant on the show. He may not have much to say, but the earwig’s dedication to a committed relationship would be a standout.

Contestant 5 — Carpenter Bee

Real Life Mating Process: Male carpenter bees pursue females only while they’re in flight. If the female bee is on the ground, male bees won’t try to mate with her. Since male carpenter bees die after mating, the female bees are responsible for preparing the nesting site and laying the eggs. Carpenter bees produce one generation a year, and the young bees emerge in the late summer.

Actual carpenter bees are gentle giants, which leads us to believe that the fictional male carpenter bee would be the lovable personality on the show. Carpenter bees are solitary insects that expand their home nests to fit their own offspring, which is done by chewing further into the natural wood. This habit leads us to believe that a carpenter bee on The Bachelorette would use part of his one-on-one time to talk about how he restored his family home and looks forward to introducing his future wife to it. If the queen bee is looking for a dedicated partner to raise a family with — and we bet she is — the carpenter bee would be a leading contender.

Pointe Kicks Pests To The Curb (Without A Rose)

Unlike the contestants on The Bachelorette and its related shows, there aren’t any redeemable qualities of the pests that invade our homes. Whether you’re looking for an efficient solution to your pest concerns or a reliable prevention tactic, Pointe Pest Control is here to help! Our experienced technicians are dedicated to solving each pest problem with the utmost efficiency and care. We have a multi-method approach when it comes to pest control. By using different treatment methods on each pest issue, we get to the heart of the problem and prevent future pests from invading. For more information on our thorough services, contact our team today!

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Citations

Carpenter bee babies & eggs — Identification for early treatment. (2021, June 3). Best Bee Brothers. Retrieved July 11, 2024, from https://bestbeebrothers.com/blogs/blog/baby-carpenter-bees

Centipedes’ reproductive cycle. (n.d.). Orkin. Retrieved July 10, 2024, from https://www.orkin.com/pests/centipedes/centipedes-reproductive-cycle

Earwigs. (2024). University of Minnesota Extension. Retrieved July 11, 2024, from https://extension.umn.edu/nuisance-insects/earwigs

Everything you need to know about the carpenter bee. (2022, September 2). Best Bees. Retrieved July 11, 2024, from https://bestbees.com/2022/09/02/carpenter-bee/

How do American cockroaches mate?. (n.d.). Orkin. Retrieved July 11, 2024, from https://www.orkin.com/pests/cockroaches/american-cockroaches/american-cockroach-mating

How do ants reproduce?. (n.d.). Orkin. Retrieved July 11, 2024, from https://www.orkin.com/pests/ants/how-do-ants-reproduce

Miller, M.L. (2024, July 9). Weird and unbelievable facts about earwigs. Cool Green Science. Available at https://blog.nature.org/2020/07/13/weird-and-unbelievable-facts-about-earwigs/ (Accessed on July 11, 2024).

Sexton, C. (2023, July 21). Male crickets cooperate to attract mates, until the competition heats up. Earth.com. Available at https://www.earth.com/news/male-crickets-cooperate-to-attract-mates-until-the-competition-heats-up/#google_vignette (Accessed on July 11, 2024).

Shetlar, D.J. & Andon, J.E. (2015, April 20). Centipedes. Ohio State University Extension. Available at https://ohioline.osu.edu/factsheet/ENT-50 (Accessed on July 11, 2024).

University of Bristol. (2012, April 30). Courtship in the cricket world. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 11, 2024 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120430152035.htm